In order to create a thriving intimate relationship, just like stepping into your dream life, requires a clarity of your vision and knowing what it is that you really want.
If you are in search of your soulmate, or if you are already in a relationship, even if it is a really awesome relationship, reflect on and write down what kind of thriving intimate relationship you want it to be. Remember, everything in life either grows or dies. It’s a Universal Law. Every single relationship needs to grow and evolve. Otherwise, it will come to an end.
It’s like a map. In order to go anywhere, you must know your destination first. Without a destination, you are going in circles mindlessly getting lost. Where do you want to go in your relationship? What’s your vision for the relationship of your dreams? How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning next to the person you are with? What would you laugh about? What would you share with him/her? How would you partner feel in your presence? How would your sex life be?
Remember, without a vision, people perish.
The second thing you need to know when you are creating a map of your thriving intimate relationship is knowing where you currently are. Be honest with yourself. Don’t make it better or worst than it is. In order for it to be a good map, you need to know your starting point.
All relationships are in one of these 6 positions. Where are you now?
Position 1: You have a magnificent, love and passion-filled relationship. You have deep love, understanding and connection with each other. You are soulmates and lovers for life. If you are here, congratulations! And remember, everything in life must grow. Evolve or die. What is the next level of your soulmate relationship? Please know that there is always space for improvement. Even a wonderful relationship can get even better. Better than you could have ever imagined. Constantly devote your attention and focus to your relationship. Remember, where attention goes, energy flows. Allow us to share with you our rituals of nourishing our love.
Position 2: You have deep love for each other, but very little passion. You have a good, solid relationship. You feel comfortable with each other. Your relationship is predictable. You are great friends. You are family, but not lovers. You deeply love each other, but there is no drive, no desire, no playfulness, no passion in the relationship. It is as though the light switch went off. There is a way to turn ON the light switch. There is absolutely a way to bring back the fire, the passion, the mad attraction that you once felt for each other. Allow us to share how …
Position 3: Your relationship has no love and no passion. It is a relationship of convenience. Your are friends, roommates at best. You share the bills. You take care of the kids. There is no chemistry between you, no passion. You do not feel desired and you do not desire your partner. As a matter of fact, it feels like you are on different paths. Perhaps, you are still together because of your kids. It is unfair to put such a burden on your kids, the burden of being the love of your life. The kids will grow up and leave one day…. In position 3 your passion is elsewhere: your kids, your work, your workout schedule, your girlfriends, etc. In a thriving relationship, your partner comes first, no matter what. There is a way to revive the love and passion and remember where you once were. Or you can tap into your courage and make the scary decision to live the life of your dreams filled with love, passion, joy right now.
Position 4: You are in the same building, but you’re one foot out of the door. You have already planned your escape (when kids turn 18, when this happens etc). This is the most empty, dead place. You are 2 different people walking 2 different paths. You wake up one day and you realize that you have settled for mediocrity. You are having an affair or you are getting juice elsewhere: your work, your hobby, etc. You have stacked up too many pains, hurts, disappointments and you do not have trust or respect for each other. Stacking destroys a relationship. Even if you are here, you have the power to change it all around. You can make a choice to see things differently and create a new meaning. If you decide to commit 90 days to loving your partner no matter what, to see them through the eye of love, to put them first, to be playful, to forgive and let go, to communicate differently, to giving love fully, you can change it all around. If you wanted to, you could change it all around.
Position 5: You have made your escape. You are no longer in the relationship, but you want one. In this position, you need to be careful because the meaning you create here will determine your happiness. This is where people often create stories that affect them for the rest of their lives: all men are… all women are…. This is where people tend to blame their ex. Please do not kill your future by killing your past. Instead of blaming it all on your ex, remember, it always takes two to tango. What was your contribution in this? What did you not do? What did you learn from this relationship? And remember THIS is not THAT, even if this new relationship looks very much like that relationship. THIS is not THAT. Write down what you want in your next relationship? What is it that you DO NOT want in a relationship? Then circle your MUST. Who do you have to BECOME to attract that kind of person?
Position 6: You are not in a relationship and you do not want one. You say things like “I am fine on my own. I don’t need anyone else” or “I am focused on my career” or “my kids is all that I need” or “I am totally comfortable alone.” This is a place of rationalization and a place of the deepest fear. On some level, you are afraid that you can’t have it the way you want it. This is a place when you need to be brutally honest with yourself and tap into the deepest level of your courage. It is your fear speaking, not your soul. We are all made to share out lives with someone. When we experience happiness and joy, our brain is wired in such a way that we want to share our joy with someone. Relationships magnify our human emotions.
Wherever you are right now, when you are honest with yourself about your current position and when you know with absolute clarity where you want to go in your intimate relationship, you have a roadmap to get you there. Allow us to help along the way…
Roger and I have been together for 20 years and we have gone through all the challenges and all the ups and downs in our own relationship. We’ve learned from our mistakes, we developed the tools, we came up with the magic that makes our relationship better and better every day, every year. Relationships require attention, time, focus to thrive and grow. You don’t just wake in a happy relationship. You tend to it. You cultivate it. You devote your energy and attention to it. Lovingly. Mindfully. Intentionally.
A lifetime of soulmate love is a delicious soup of chemistry, communication, compatibility, connection, vulnerability, and the choices we make.
Allow us to share with you the secrets to creating and cultivating thriving love-and-passion-filled intimate relationship. It’s a recipe you can follow that create The Art of Love.
WHEN: Mon & Wed nights Sep 21-30 5:30-8:30PM CST via ZOOM. All sessions will be recorded and available forever.